What is Emotional Neglect?
When we talk about childhood neglect, most people imagine the obvious; not being fed, clothed, or cared for.
But emotional neglect can be much more subtle. And because it’s so invisible, many people don’t even realise it happened to them - let alone anyone else.
In simple terms, emotional neglect is a parent or caregiver consistently failing to respond to a child’s emotional needs. This might mean:
dismissing your feelings
avoiding emotional conversations
not noticing when you were sad, angry, or afraid
failing to comfort or support you emotionally
It doesn’t mean your parents were bad or didn’t love you. Many parents who emotionally neglect their children are doing their best - but they may have been emotionally neglected themselves, or never learned how to offer emotional support to others.
Why Is It So Hard to Spot?
Unlike more visible forms of abuse, emotional neglect is about what doesn’t happen. There are no bruises or dramatic events to point to. Instead, it’s an ongoing absence of emotional attunement and support. Many clients say things like:
My childhood looked fine form the outside, but I always felt like something was missing.
I was a “good kid” because I learned not to need anything.
How Emotional Neglect Affects You Now
If your emotional needs weren’t met growing up, you might find it hard to:
identify or trust your own feelings
set boundaries with others
feel close in relationships
ask for help or express any vulnerability
You might feel like you’re too much or not enough at the same time. You may struggle with low self-worth, people pleasing, or feeling disconnected form others - but not know why.
The Good New? It’s Not Too Late!
Understanding emotional neglect is the first step to healing from it. With the right support, you can learn to reconnect with your feelings, meet your own needs, and build healthier, more authentic relationships.
If this article resonated with you, just know that you’re not alone. I work with many adults who grew up feelings unseen or unsupported and want to break free form those patterns. If that sounds like you, therapy can help.
