Healing From Emotional Neglect

Realising that you experienced emotional neglect growing up can bring up a lot of mixed emotions; relief, sadness, anger, even confusion.

You might find yourself wondering, “Now that I know… what do I do with this?”

First, take a breath. You’re not alone in this, and you’re definitely not broken. Healing is absolutely possible, and it doesn’t have to happen all at once. There’s no perfect timeline or right way to do it.

If you’re ready to begin, here are a few gentle starting points.

Acknowledge what was missing

It’s common to minimise emotional neglect - especially if you were told others had it worse or if everything looked fine on the outside. But your experience matters.

It’s okay to say “My emotional needs weren’t met”, without needing to justify it further.

Start tuning into your feelings

If you’ve learned to push down or ignore your emotions, it can take time to reconnect with them. Try checking in with yourself each day;

What am I feeling right now?

What might I need?

Even just noticing is a powerful first step.

Practice self-compassion

You might have an inner voice that’s critical or harsh; especially if you weren’t shown warmth or emotional care as a child. Gently challenge that voice. What would you say to a friend in that position? Try offering yourself the same kindness.

Set small boundaries

Boundaries can feel scary, especially if you’re used to people-pleasing or putting other people first. Start small. Saying no when you mean it, or asking for a moment to think, can be a big deal - and a big win!

Seek supportive relationships

Healing happens in conection. Whether it’s with friends, partners, or a therapist, surrounding yourself with people who respect your feelings and needs makes a huge difference.

Consider Therapy

Therapy can be a safe space to process what happened, understand how it’s still affecting you, and build new ways of relating to yourself and others. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Remember, it’s never too late to heal

You may have gone unseen or unsupported for a long time, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You deserve to feel understood, connected, and emotionally safe - both within yourself and in your relationships.

If you’re ready to begin this journey, I offer both online and in-person therapy in London.