Parenting is often described as one of life’s most rewarding journeys, but it can also be one of the most challenging!

If you’ve ever caught yourself reacting in a way that doesn’t align with the parent you want to be—maybe snapping in frustration or feeling overly responsible for your child’s emotions—you’re not alone. These moments often stem from our own unresolved childhood experiences, which subtly shape the way we interact with and nurture our children.

Growing up with an emotionally immature parent often leaves a profound mark. Perhaps you were raised by someone who struggled with expressing empathy, dismissed your feelings, or relied on you to meet their emotional needs.

These experiences can create a complex mix of emotions as you become a parent yourself—determined to do things differently but unsure how to navigate uncharted territory.

If you’ve ever felt a cloud of confusion surrounding your memories and emotions, you might be experiencing the effects of emotional gaslighting. This insidious form of psychological manipulation can leave you doubting your own perceptions and questioning the validity of your feelings.

Many adults feel a constant pressure to live according to their parents’ expectations, even well into adulthood. This pressure can manifest in various aspects of life—career choices, relationships, lifestyle, and even personal values. The sense of obligation to meet these expectations can be overwhelming, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or guilt if you deviate from the path your parents envisioned for you.

Unconscious patterns are deeply ingrained behaviours or emotional responses that develop in childhood and continue to shape our adult relationships. These patterns often form as a response to early experiences, especially in the context of emotionally immature parents. For example, a child who grew up with a parent who was dismissive or controlling may develop coping mechanisms such as people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or suppressing their own needs in an effort to maintain peace.

If you’ve ever found yourself constantly seeking validation from others—whether it’s a partner, a boss, or even friends—you’re not alone. Many adults raised by emotionally immature parents experience this deep need for external approval. This need can feel almost insatiable, driving you to seek reassurance from the people around you to feel worthy or “good enough.” But why does this happen?

Many adults go through life unaware of the unconscious patterns formed in childhood that still shape their relationships today. These patterns often stem from dynamics with emotionally immature parents, who may have lacked the emotional capacity to validate their children's feelings or foster independence. As children, we naturally seek approval from our parents—craving their affection and validation. When this need isn’t consistently met, or when the parent imposes their own emotional needs onto the child, it creates an invisible loyalty. This loyalty keeps us tied to behaviours that served us in childhood but may no longer serve us in adult life.

Parenting is a demanding and dynamic role that shapes not only the lives of children but also the development and growth of parents themselves. Emotional immaturity in parents can have profound effects on family dynamics and a child's well-being. But is it possible for an emotionally immature parent to change? The answer is a hopeful yes, but it requires self-awareness, commitment, and support. In this blog post, we will explore what emotional immaturity in parenting looks like, the potential for change, and the steps involved in this transformation.

In a time when everything is felt so intensely - the grief, the fear, the sadness, the connection - it can be easy to be led by our emotions and our inner monologues. However, being led by our thoughts and emotions can lead us to feel quite unstable - think about how often your emotions change throughout the day.