It is very likely that if you’re in a narcissistic relationship, you would have noticed some red flags at various stages. Maybe your partner was manipulative, played on your emotions, was gaslighting you, would blame you for things you didn’t do…

Anyone can find themselves n a relationship with a narcissist, especially a grandiose narcissist, who will be charming, charismatic, and manipulative. However, if you repeatedly find yourself in relationships with narcissists, it is likely that this isn’t a coincidence, and that there is something deeper at play here.

Typically, narcissists follow a pattern of three stages in romantic relationships; love bombing, devaluation, and discarding. The length of each stage and each cycle will depend on the person and the particular relationship, and perhaps what is going on in their lives outside of the relationship as well, but generally, the pattern seems to fit.

Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, heard, or validated. This is because they don’t generally grasp the concept of feelings. They generally understand their own emotions, but not the emotions of others.