Rebuilding Your Confidence After Being Gaslit
Emotional gaslighting can be a deeply disorienting experience, leading many to question their reality, feelings, and even their worth. But what is it?
In a nutshell, emotional gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone causes you to question your perceptions, feelings, or even sanity. This is often not too noticeable at first and is done through words or behaviours that dismiss, belittle, or contradict your experiences or emotions.
If you’ve been gaslit, especially by people close to you, it’s common to feel like your self-confidence has been stripped away. When you’re constantly told your feelings are “too much” or that your memories are wrong, it’s no wonder you start doubting yourself.
But rebuilding your confidence after experiencing gaslighting is possible—by validating your feelings, setting boundaries, and taking small but impactful steps each day.
The Road to Rebuilding Confidence
Moving forward from emotional gaslighting involves reclaiming your sense of self and beginning to trust your own instincts and perceptions again. Here are some key steps to help you rebuild your confidence:
Setting boundaries: Boundaries remind you that your needs matter and deserve respect. Whether it’s creating distance from those who belittle you or limiting your emotional exposure, setting boundaries can provide a crucial buffer and allow your confidence to grow without interference.
Validating your own feelings: Gaslighting often makes you feel like your emotions aren’t valid, which can cause immense self-doubt. Practice validating your feelings by reminding yourself that all emotions are natural and reflect your unique experiences. Try journaling or saying aloud, “It’s okay to feel this way,” and notice how affirming it feels to honour your inner experience.
Seeking therapy: Processing your experiences with a supportive therapist can help you work through the lingering effects of gaslighting. Therapy offers a safe space to untangle the confusion, validate your experiences, and create a roadmap for rebuilding your self-esteem and trust.
Practical Steps for Confidence Building
Once you’ve started the journey, several day-to-day techniques can support you in feeling more confident, grounded, and self-assured:
Use affirmations: Affirmations are simple, positive statements that challenge self-doubt. For example, saying, “I am worthy of respect,” can slowly replace ingrained negative beliefs. Repeating affirmations helps reinforce self-worth, even if it feels awkward at first—stick with it and notice small shifts in how you feel about yourself over time.
Challenge negative self-talk: Gaslighting often leaves a lasting critical voice that questions or dismisses your worth. Begin challenging that voice by asking, “Is this thought true?” or “Where did I learn this?” Recognising that these thoughts aren’t facts can help you detach from them. Remember, just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true!
Surround yourself with supportive people: Healing from gaslighting can be so much easier when you have people around who genuinely respect and uplift you. Seek out friends or family members who value your feelings and help you see your strengths. Even online support groups or communities can make a big difference in reminding you that your experiences are valid.
Conclusion: Taking Steps Toward Healing and Confidence
Overcoming the effects of emotional gaslighting takes time, compassion, and patience. But each small step—validating your feelings, setting boundaries, challenging negative self-talk—will slowly rebuild your confidence. Remember, therapy can be a powerful ally in this journey, providing the support you need to heal and move forward.
If you’re ready to reclaim your self-confidence and heal from gaslighting’s effects, I encourage you to book a session. You deserve to feel secure, whole, and empowered in your own life. Let’s take the first steps together.
