It is very likely that if you’re in a narcissistic relationship, you would have noticed some red flags at various stages. Maybe your partner was manipulative, played on your emotions, was gaslighting you, would blame you for things you didn’t do…

There are some traits of narcissism that are common to both males and females, such as their grandiose sense of themselves masking their low self-esteem, or their tendency to treat others with contempt to make themselves look and feel better. Both male and female narcissists also tend to be completely self-interested; only doing something for others if they can see the benefits to themselves.

Typically, narcissists follow a pattern of three stages in romantic relationships; love bombing, devaluation, and discarding. The length of each stage and each cycle will depend on the person and the particular relationship, and perhaps what is going on in their lives outside of the relationship as well, but generally, the pattern seems to fit.

Narcissists lack the skill to make you feel seen, heard, or validated. This is because they don’t generally grasp the concept of feelings. They generally understand their own emotions, but not the emotions of others.

We all love a bit of gossip, but a gaslighter will wield gossip like a weapon. Gossip gives the gaslighter a feeling of power and control over those around them.

Domestic abuse is not just physical, it also includes things such as coercive control, manipulation, psychological and emotional abuse, sexual abuse (including partner rape), financial abuse, harassment and stalking, and online abuse.