You were likely a child that was seen as responsible, in control, and able to handle “grown-up” issues and be involved in “grown-up” decisions with your parents. You might feel like you don’t really remember being a “kid”, and feel like it’s safer to be self-reliant than to depend on others.

Narcissistic parents raise their children to believe that their authentic self is somehow flawed. These children spend so much of their lives trying to be what their parents want them to be, and taking care of the parent’s emotional needs, that it is difficult to keep in touch with who they are and what they need as individuals.

Children need to feel loved, seen, heard, and known. This highest form of love is unconditional love - knowing that you are loved even if you are being told off, knowing that you are loved even if you are misbehaving.